Ladies, I know there are a few of you out there who don’t like cats but please hear me out. Cats can really help prepare you to have a successful relationship with a man. I have had cats my entire life and any cat owner will tell you that one of the frequent locations that a cat spends their time is in your lap. For hours cats will sleep, stand up, stretch, change positions and then fall back asleep and hold your body hostage. The entire time, you as a cat owner will sit there, unwilling to move them, even as your legs have fallen asleep, your bladder is full and your stomach has started to growl. No matter how you are inconvenienced by the five pound furrball, you are hesitant to disturb their slumber.
When you are in a relationship, your man will do the exact same thing… except they drool all over your clothes as well. For hours, you will sit or lay there with a comatose creature resting all their male weight on you. At some point, you will no longer be able to feel your legs, you can’t reach the remote to change the TV channel so your stuck watching the ESPN Classic reruns that he was looking at when he fell asleep and you’ve answered your cell phone three times in a whisper so that you don’t wake him. From time to time, he will wake up and groggily look at you to see if you are still there, say something incoherent to you, change positions and fall back to sleep.
It’s vital to the relationship that you learn how to get through these moments for three reasons: Relationship Patience, Relationship Selflessness and Relationship Team Building.
A relationship is two people coming together who most likely have different behaviors and mindsets in some areas of life. This can make for some very challenging moments. Say for instance, if one person likes to go to bed at 9pm while the other is up banging around the house until 1am. A partnership can get tense if one likes to deal with their frustrations at work by dipping into the couple savings to go clothes shopping while the other person wants to communicate and figure out how they can deal with things another way without jeopardizing the household budget. Dealing with each other in these moments requires giving each other the emotional security of knowing “even though this is uncomfortable, I will have patience with you and you will have patience with me and together we will get through this.”
Somewhere out there, there are people saying that relationships should be 50-50. I’d like to find these people and make them listen to a bunch of 2nd graders play the recorder for eight hours. Some days you will have to give more of yourself than you are getting back from your partner. Some days your partner will give more of himself than he’s getting back from you. Underneath the moments when the relationship seems to be unbalanced, each partner still needs the mental comfort that their partner is selfless when needed. There should be that shared unspoken message that you give to each other of “yes, each of us gets heavy sometimes but don’t worry we’ll help each other carry the load.
One of the most critical elements required for any successful relationship is the notion of building a “team.” This understanding that there is an “us” and “them” when it comes to how two people move around the world as a couple. The home life and atmosphere is one of the most crucial pieces for a couple who will be able to thrive and succeed. The idea is to create a home environment where on the outside of the door is “them” and all the problems, irritations, and daily struggles that occur but on the inside of the door is “us” and our peace, our rest, our space to rejuvenate before going back out into battle.
So ladies, those moments where your man falls asleep in your lap like a cat please understand that it’s so much bigger than that. You are sending him a message that you will have patience with him, that you will be selfless with him and that you are rockin’ on his team. If you listen closely, he will even purr like a cat. Ok, maybe it’s just loud obnoxious snoring but by the time the blood is no longer circulating below your knees you won’t even care that he sounds like a freight truck.
Wishing you all lots of love in your LOVElife!
Lana’s “Loving Him Better” series on Youtube